A Different Life

This morning we wake up in our friend’s house near Newcastle. We wouldn’t be with that friend if she didn’t have a beautiful house in a beautiful area but then we wouldn’t be here if Natalie wasn’t a beautiful friend.

We found out about our babies problems 3 days ago on the Wednesday evening. Our life has been turned around and flipped upside down. The best analogy is of a roller coaster. Our emotions are up and down; despair and sadness followed by the peace of God moving through us full of His grace. But like a roller coaster we are on a safe path being carried safely through to the end where we can get off for some rest.

As of now we know very little about our babies problems. There is a 2cm sack of fluid protruding from the base of the spine, which itself is slightly separated and the skull is measured to be 2cm smaller than expected at the 20week stage. These 2 things are apparently called spina bifida and hydrocephalus (?). And that is all we know. There is another scan with the specialist on Monday morning 11pm where we will get some more details and a fuller prognosis.

Of course they will offer us a termination; the normal procedure in cases such as these. We cannot, and would not want to accept. This life is given to us by God and to make a decision to exercise our free will and overrule the decision of God would be a mistake. That’s not to say we haven’t had our views challenged on this. In particular about how this would not be a selfish thing for us to give ourselves the life we thought we were getting but that it may save a lot of pain for our child. Still well let God make that decision for us, he’s more qualified.

Let us not also forget this is a miracle baby already and we should not be surprised by more miracles. I talk of the conception in a month where the doctors said we would need assistance; a hormone level of 4 where a range of 15-30 is required. Yet through God speaking to me so directly in Hong Kong, “Now is the time – I am ready” we know that there is going to be no waste of life or love lost through this new life. Quite the opposite, God will be exalted and lifted up through the testimony of this baby.

We have seen this before in our time together when in October 2003 we had the privilege to know Malachi, an abandoned black South African baby, born 3 months prematurely with full blown aids. Through his very short life full of pain and suffering, his only peace seemed to be when he was asleep, we were so blessed to see Gods love flowing freely through and around this child of His. I know we are not the only people to have been moved closer to God through the knowledge of Malachi.

So far on this roller coaster ride we have learnt some truths which we could probably not learn another way. God carries us when we cannot walk, he answers every prayer, he is the override switch on the rusty white van and He is the God that knits us all together in our mothers womb and we are created in his image

So we wait for Monday. We are resisting the temptation to learn more, to fill our minds with probabilities, and possibilities. We know that what ever happens as long as we rest in the Fathers arms we will grow stronger and closer to Him than we could ever imagine. He will take care of everything else. He knew us from before we were born sending his Son to give us eternal life. We need do no more than to accept his gift of life in Jesus wonderful name.

Whether this baby’s life is long or short we rest in the knowledge this is the life and baby God chose for us and we are proud to be this babies parents carrying the will of God. We will be with this baby in heaven clothed with our perfect bodies living in worship and service to the only man who never deserved to die but who chose death that we may have life, eternal life.

Be still and know that I am God

Psalm 42, 139 and Isaiah 62.

Nic and Kathy