I was looking forward to writing this today to say how great our Alpha went last night, and it was really good, we cant wait for next week. But again things change we find it just as hard as day one.
At today’s scan a consultant we had not met before told us the ventricles in the head had increased to 13mm well above the borderline 10mm we had previously been told. Of course this being a new consultant on our case we got yet another opinion. This time saying that it wasn’t necesariliy hydrocephalus and may have just been normal growth. This contradicts what we have previously been told and just make me angry. I cant handle having to balance yet another opinion, I want to know the facts. There was a sense of security given us by the doctors in at least a consistent opinion. I did question him on this and got a standard answer that didn’t really make me feel any better about it.
It wasn’t just that that made me angry. When we entered we were just told about the student doctor, not asked. It was left to me to check it was OK with Kathy. During the scan it appeared as though he was talking to the student more than us casually giving us information that will change our life as we know it. It was all I could do not to start shouting at him.
I don’t mean to be nasty to him, he did nothing wrong it was just a new approach. All the others doctors have been exceptional and in a strange way we have got to know them. It was just a bad day with bad news.
Tomorrow we have our appointment with the Neurosurgeon in Nottingham to review the MRI results. We were nervous when she asked us up there and after this we are dreading it.
I read this morning Ephesians 4 v 14. All about waves and rough seas and how Gods Word gives us the ability to ‘stand our ground’. (v16) Certainly seems appropriate for the title of this entry.
1 comment:
Hello Nic and Kathy,
Just to say that I continue to uphold you both in your pilgrimage. Stormy seas, to be sure. I live in the higher part of Brighton and can see the English Channel from where I’m sitting at this moment. It’s sunny where I am but I can clearly see three showers on the horizon whereas those on the sea front are not aware of this – although they will be engulfed shortly. I find it very reassuring to know that God can see our tomorrows as well as our todays and that we are always in the hollow of his hand. I’ve only got my King James to hand as I write and note in Psalm 89:9 ‘Thou rulest the raging of the sea: when the waves thereof rise thou stillest them’. Whatever the moods of the sea God is there and can be trusted. This psalm was written by Ethan the Ezrahite (1 Kings 4:31). If you’ve time Google him and, maybe, gain some insights which might be of assistance and comfort to you.
God bless you both – and bump.
David Bulbeck
PS It’s not sunny any more!
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